no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
