Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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