just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize