uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
