She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
