Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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