No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
