I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
