We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
