none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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