He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
