You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
