a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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