I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
