Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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