Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
