CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
