omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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