Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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