butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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