haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
