I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
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I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
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We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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