bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
ok first of all what the fuck
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize