just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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