He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Sacagawea was the original milf.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
