Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
