I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
either way he was missing a nipple.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
