Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.