her vagine was all disorganized.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The struggles of a small town man whore
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here