She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?