hey, what are you doing tonight?
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive