how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
