David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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