thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
