I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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