The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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