if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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