I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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