nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Is her dick bigger than yours?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
