she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
