Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
That was an excessively violent trivia night
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize