I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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