He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
