thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I DEMAND FORESKIN
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
