Already got asked if we're dating
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
