Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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