Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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