I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
