this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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