Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
