"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
