I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
