dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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