I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
