so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
