i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
