He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
