I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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